I Am Here, But I’m Not Here
I’m present in this world, I see and I know, but I choose to remain unseen.
I have the ability to help you and others, but I do so at my own discretion, on my terms.
Even when I’m here, it’s best that you think of me as if I’m not.
I prefer solitude, not because I’m distant, but because I’ve learned to guard myself.
1. The Power of Being Unseen
A Quiet Presence:
Though I am here, I choose to remain in the background, avoiding the spotlight.
There’s power in being unseen, in observing quietly without being the center of attention.
In this way, I can help and support without the weight of expectation or obligation placed on me by others.
Selective Involvement:
Helping others is something I choose to do, but only when I feel it’s right.
My actions are driven by a sense of purpose, not by external pressure or obligation.
This freedom allows me to decide when and how I involve myself, ensuring that I stay true to my own values and boundaries.
2. Trust Broken, Trust Guarded
Saya Pernah Disakiti:
I’ve been hurt before—betrayed and let down by people I thought I could trust.
These experiences have shaped me, making me cautious and protective of my heart.
I no longer give my trust easily, because I know the pain that comes from broken promises and false loyalty.
Saya Pernah Dikhianati:
Betrayal cuts deep, especially when it comes from those you least expect.
It’s not just the betrayal itself, but the loss of trust that follows.
When someone you’ve relied on turns their back on you, it leaves a scar that takes time—if ever—to heal.
Saya Tidak Mau Dikecewakan Lagi:
I’ve reached a point where I no longer allow myself to be vulnerable to the disappointments of others.
Humans, with all their flaws and unpredictability, can be unreliable.
I’ve learned to protect myself by keeping a distance, by not placing my trust where it can be broken again.
3. The Desire for Solitude
Preferring to Be Alone:
It’s not that I don’t care or that I don’t want to connect with others.
It’s that solitude brings me peace. In my own company, I am safe—safe from the betrayals, disappointments, and heartaches that come with trusting others.
Being alone allows me to protect myself, to control my environment, and to keep my peace intact.
Finding Strength in Solitude:
There’s a certain strength that comes with solitude. It’s in these quiet moments, away from the noise and chaos of the world, that I find clarity and purpose.
I’ve learned that I don’t need constant validation or connection to feel fulfilled.
Solitude has become a sanctuary, a place where I can heal and grow without interference.
4. Helping, but at My Own Discretion
Offering Help When I Choose:
Just because I prefer solitude doesn’t mean I’m unwilling to help others.
I do help, but it’s on my terms. I choose when, how, and whom to help, without feeling obligated or pressured by societal norms.
My discretion ensures that I’m helping from a place of genuine care, not out of a sense of duty or expectation.
Boundary Setting:
By helping others on my terms, I maintain control over my energy and time.
I’m not here to fix everyone’s problems or to be at the beck and call of those who need me.
Setting boundaries allows me to protect my well-being while still offering assistance when I feel it’s right.
5. The Complexity of Trust
Trust as a Fragile Gift:
Trust is fragile, and once it’s broken, it’s difficult to repair. I no longer give my trust freely, and I’m cautious about whom I allow into my life.
It’s not that I’m incapable of trusting—it’s that I’ve learned to be selective, to guard my heart from those who may not value it.
Cautious, Not Cold:
While I may seem distant or unapproachable, it’s not because I lack empathy or care.
It’s because I’ve built walls to protect myself from the pain of disappointment.
These walls are not impenetrable, but they are there for a reason—to keep out those who would harm me, intentionally or unintentionally.
6. The Balance of Presence and Absence
Here, but Not Here:
I may be present in your life, but don’t expect me to be fully visible.
I operate in the shadows, helping quietly without drawing attention to myself.
This allows me to maintain my peace while still offering support when needed.
Think of me as a silent guardian, someone who watches over but doesn’t always step forward.
Invisible Support:
Just because I’m not always visible doesn’t mean I’m not there.
My presence is felt in the actions I take, the help I offer, and the support I give—often without acknowledgment or recognition.
I don’t need to be seen to make an impact.
Conclusion: I Am Here Alone, but Not Always Available
“I am here, but I’m not here.”
These words reflect my way of navigating the world—a balance between being present and keeping a safe distance.
I’ve learned through experience that trust is delicate, that people can hurt, and that solitude offers a form of protection that is invaluable.
But just because I choose to stand on the sidelines doesn’t mean I’m indifferent or disconnected.
I still care, still help, and still protect—on my own terms.
I am here, but for now, it’s better that you think of me as not.
